It seems a lot of players don't grasp the structural integrity system.

You can build VERY tall structures in Valheim. It all comes down to being able to work with the building/integrity system. Personally, I love the building system here, and like how the integrity system is structures.

Check out Youtube for some great breakdowns on the integrity system, I suspect that's where the majority of your frustrations lie. I believe it was "Firespark81" who had a great integrity video or two on there that really helped me understand it initially.